It’s no surprise to anyone that knows me that I do like a little luxury. We work hard and travelling and taking some time out are our escapes from the real world.  It also won’t surprise anyone to know I am happiest when it’s just my husband and I somewhere we can relax. 

It’s a test to any marriage dealing with the loss of your babies and infertility. I am sure it could easily rip you apart. I feel down time together is so very important as well as talking to each other. 

Through every loss and disappointment I fight the urge to curl into a ball and never leave the house, my mum would tell you that I never take enough time to heal. I don’t think that’s true. I feel like if I don’t keep moving forward and dwell too much on the what if’s of a situation I would never be able to function, to simply live my life. I perform my part well, and unless you read my blogs I doubt very much you would even know how broken I am. 

What and If are two of the most haunting words for people in our position, what if our babies had lived, what would our lives be like now? What if we were a “normal” couple. Whatever “normal” is, what would that feel like? 

What we will do every now and then is find a way to escape through travelling. We love to spend time at nice hotels and feel pampered, to look at the positives of our life. To enjoy each other. To be together and not be thinking about the stresses this life can throw at you. This weekend we did just that at a beautiful hotel near to us. 

Driving away from the town centre of Darlington in County Durham, out into the beautiful English countryside there is a treasure set back away from the rest of the world. This is one of my favourites places to go – Rockliffe Hall. My escape and safe haven. My new addiction.   

The impressive red brick facade whispers of the history of this 18th century building.  The interior is rich, beautiful and pure luxury. The attention to detail is incredible. I felt the stress trickle out of me before I even have the room key even in my hand. 

The room we had was in the New Hall, they spacious and oooze indulgence as well as wonderful little touches such as a hand written welcome note on the dresser. There is even a TV in the bathroom! A TV IN THE BATHROOM!!!! 

It’s at these moments, when I allow myself to stop that often the pain does resurface. I do allow myself to let my mask slip. I don’t think that’s a bad thing,  I need these moments to sort through the painful memories that I normally have safely tucked away in a box at the back of my mind. 

We all deal with such things in our own way. I do what I do everyday to survive it. There is no right or wrong. I like to relax and I enjoy this sort of experience, I feel like it recharges me for the challenges ahead. 

This time not only did we experience the spa and treatments to take care of that relaxing. We ate at all of the restaurants (sorry Slimming World!).

The food is just amazing but more than that, the staff are exceptional. From check in to check out they make you feel so very comfortable and that nothing is too much. I can not sing the praises enough. They really do make the experience. 

I love food. I am trying to loose weight at the moment for treatment but there wasn’t any way I would go to Rockliffe Hall and stay on plan, sometimes you just have to choose life! Enjoy it! Then get back to it! 

The breakfast was lovely. We have a little in joke about poached eggs. I love them but often when eating out they are never “right” my husband holds his breath while I cut into them for the first time and is pleased when the beautiful yolk spills out 😂😂! It’s amusing to watch and this weekend they were so good! The choice was extensive and I did have fruit to start with! So I was a little good 😬😬. Also when you get ketchup in a jar, you know you are in for a treat! 

The Orangery is the flagship restaurant and is hugely popular. With 3AA rosette there is no wonder why. My husband is SUCH a fussy eater. I was so nervious to take him there as I was positive he would look at the menu and walk out. He was very brave and agrees to try the chef Richard Allen’s nine course taster menu. While not all of the dishes were to Ben’s taste, the experience would be one we will never forget. It’s so much more than just food! It’s like a stage show you get to eat. 

The personal touch is outstanding. The Food and Beverage Manager knew our names and a little about our stay, our waiter was knowledgeable taking us on a delightful journey with him through each beautiful course. It was exquisite. My particular favourites being the desserts!

Every detail of this evening was beautifully prepared and presented. 

We ate in the other two restaurants the Brasserie and The Club House. Again the food was scrumptious but the real stars were the staff. 

We stayed three nights. We laughed, we ate. It was perfect. 

While on this journey, you can get caught up in the end goal. Sometimes it’s easy to not enjoy the life around you. We are nearly 13 years into this now. How much more time would we give to getting a child? I don’t know. I refuse however to not enjoy the journey where we can. 

I love my husband, we make an amazing team. We deserve to take some time to enjoy ourselves. I know this may not be possible every weekend, it’s not the cheapest activity. I do however believe in value for money and I do believe you get that at Rockliffe. A rare treat for sure, but one I hope to repeat again very soon. 

I am already dreaming of my return….. until next time Rockliffe Hall xoxo