As the last chime of midnight on Big Ben rings, as we welcome in another year. I stand in the middle of shouts of “Auld Langs Syne” and never to the right lyrics I might add.

 There’s a moment every year where I stand in my husbands arms whispering “Happy New Year” when everything slows down and it’s like we are alone and the rest of the world disappears, it’s just us two. 

The world slips away and I close my eyes and wish, just one wish. 

“PLEASE LET THIS YEAR BE OUR YEAR, let me be standing with a baby when the next New Year rings in!!” 

I would wish it with all my heart and then return to the customary hugs and kisses of the New Year and act like I was all good. 

What a wonderful event New Year is, saying good bye to the last year, washing away all the previous year struggles and starting a new clean slate. 

Something’s sadly can never be washed away with that chime of midnight and 2016 is one of those years for my family, with exception of the birth of my beautiful niece the rest of the year has been the worst I have ever experienced. 

We will have to move forward but the scars will remain long after the songs and merriment have finished. The one big difference for me this NYE is that I won’t be starting the year with that wish. 

This year, instead of desperately wishing for something I can not have. I am going to be thankful for what I do have. The same person in my arms for the chime of midnight that I have for the last NYE’s, Fantastic friends who have been there for me no matter what. My mother who has felt the pain of every loss with me. For you lovely readers who have shown me so much support through my City gurl page and now here. 

To those of you still on that journey. Perhaps this IS your year. Maybe you embark on IVF or similar treatments, maybe you will get your bundle of joy. You keep making that wish! For as many of the times I wished for a baby and it failed, the years have brought me so many other joys and I don’t regret any of the time spent wishing. I hope you will get your dream come true in 2017.  

This year my hopes may be for different things but I will never forget my angel babies. It’s just time for me to move on to the next chapter. 2017 holds a fantastic holiday to New York and Dominican Rep. I am hoping and praying for a smaller waist πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ by then!!! 

What ever your plans are for this NYE I hope you have a fantastic evening, enjoy the possibilities that 2017 may bring …. and as we ain’t pregnant maybe a glass or ten of bubbly!! Xoxo